You don’t have plants at home because you’re not healing
Do you ever wonder why some homes feel lifeless, even when they’re picture-perfect?
I’ve learned something unexpected in my years as an interior designer: it’s rarely about the sofa, the lighting, or the color of the walls. It’s about the person who lives there.
And very often, it’s about their nervous system.
I see it in my clients’ homes all the time. The absence of plants isn’t just a design choice; it’s a reflection of where they are emotionally.
What’s Missing Isn’t Greenery, It’s Safety
Plants ask for a kind of commitment. Not much, just a little: light, water, attention. Care. They require you to believe that tomorrow, you’ll still have the capacity to show up. That life will still be stable enough to let something grow.
But when someone’s been through upheaval: a divorce, grief, a breakup, a job loss, an international move, even that feels too much. I’ve had clients say to me, “I kill every plant I touch.” They laugh. I don’t.
It tells me they’re still living in survival mode. When your nervous system is overwhelmed, you avoid responsibility for anything that grows. You don’t root because you don’t feel rooted.
Your Space Reflects More Than Your Taste
One client comes to mind immediately. She had just moved to New York after a difficult divorce. She hired me to furnish her new apartment: beautiful bones, but sterile. White walls, gray sofa, nothing soft. No art. No plants. She told me she wanted it “simple” and “low maintenance.”
What she meant was: controlled. Predictable. Safe.
But healing shifts how we live. It shifts how we see our homes, too. Over time, as we worked together, I noticed she stopped asking for neutral tones and started craving color. She chose art that made her feel something. And, eventually, she allowed me to place two enormous, lush plants in her living room.
I didn’t explain the psychology behind it. I just watched her smile the first time she watered them. That’s how healing works: you stop managing and you start creating.
You stop curating to hide.
You start living to express.
Your Home Isn’t Just a Space, It’s a Mirror
People think design is about aesthetics. It’s not. It’s about emotional connection. Plants bring softness, nourishment, life. If they're not in your home, it may be because you’ve been too focused on control to allow in something unpredictable… something alive.
Design isn’t about perfection. It’s about presence.
When you’re ready to feel rooted again, you won’t need tips. You’ll need someone who sees you, and knows how to create space for who you’re becoming.
That’s what I do.
If you’re ready for a home that reflects the next version of you, I’d love to help.
Written by Carole Vaudable, interior designer
